I’m on a search, well a man hunt basically… You see – Once upon a time,a very long time ago, there used to be a type of man who existed. This man had characteristics which were slowly phased away with the passage of time and are now virtually extinct. I’m looking for this man whom I haven’t seen or communicated with in quite a while now and now I badly need to find him…

I’m looking for the man who used to be but now isn’t. The man who was always there for me even when he physically couldn’t be there. I’m searching desperately for that man who just didn’t show up for dates, but who would have the decency to call me up on the phone and explain why he couldn’t make it. I’m missing the man who when he got bored with me or lost interest in our conversations would explain this to me instead of just ignoring my call, blocking me on app and avoiding me. Help me to find the man who stayed true… the man who was real.

What happened to the man who didn’t think that showing emotion is a sign of weakness or femininity? Where is the man who still knows how to be sweet and caring, who still knows how to express his emotions eloquently and vocalize his needs and desires without a touch of embarrassment or deep-rooted fear of belittlement. Who knows where I can find a man who is not ashamed to let the whole world know that he is crazy in love, let loose and act like a fool in love? I’m searching for the man who is able to not only provide financially, physically and mentally but who can also fill his relationship emotional bank to the fullest… Dearly beloved I’m looking for a man… a real man.

I’ve been searching all over but still I cannot find the man who is approachable, the man-made of flesh and blood and not steel. The man whose bodily fluid includes not only hard sweat but salty, real tears. I still cannot find the man who can reveal his vulnerability to those people in his life who care, and allow them to help him shoulder his burdens. I’m looking for the man who knows that a man is not only defined by his ability to withstand and be a stronghold but by his willingness to be a partner to the one he pledged his love to. I’m in desperate search for the man who sees in his woman his better half and helper instead of an opponent whom he has to fight perpetually and dominate over. Dearly beloved I’m looking for a man… I’m looking for the real man.

There once used to be a man who didn’t need to don a suit of armor to fight for what was right but who took it upon himself to be the strong fortress in which his loved ones found protection. That man would drop everything to fight for his beloved in defense of her dignity and honor instead of being the vessel by which she was exposed to exploitation and humiliation. Dearly beloved I’m looking for that man…a real man.

Though the search still yields no results, I’m looking for the man who when the time to take accountability comes will be able to step up and take responsibility for his actions. Who instead of running away will stand by his woman and be there when she needs him most, opens his arms to her and his home and heart to those to come. I’m looking for that man with a backbone and the foresight to make decisions that will make tomorrow dawn on him and those around him brighter. Who will not shy away from hard work but who will willingly work the extra shift in order to buy his own that shimmy-shift. Friends I’m looking for a man… I’m looking for a real man.

I need to find that man, who still knows what being a gentleman is and is not ashamed of being one. I’m looking for that man who knows how to treat a woman like a lady and put her first. I’m in search of a man who knows and understands that to a woman it’s the small things that count and will always be held close to her heart. Tell me please where to find a man who puts others first, who opens the door for ladies and allow them to lead the way, who pulls out their chairs for them and is not comfortable to let them carry heavy loads while he is around. Ladies and gentlemen… help me to find a man… a real man.

Respect- yes respect is what I’m looking for… I’m looking for a man who still knows the word, understands its’ meaning and actually owns it! I need to find that guy who appreciates his parents, obeys their rules and tries to understand that all they are trying to do is protect and safe guard him. I need to locate that man who respects the rules of society and rarely feels the urge to get out of control and live life recklessly. If you know where I can find a living breathing man who respects his woman and controls himself regardless of how hard it is when she says no, please tell me because I’m looking for that man… That man who happens to be a real man.

There are too many beings walking around who claim to be a man just because their DNA is one X chromosome short but who act not like men but something totally alienated from that. Nowadays there are simply too many who use the name yet fall short of its true meaning. There are too many who walk around wearing cold masks as faces and possessing hard impenetrable stones made of steel as hearts and too few of those who have actually feel any humane emotions. There are just too many who have adopted a misconstrued definition of masculinity which they use as a weapon to dominate the weak and too few of those who look out for the interests of the disadvantaged.
Yes bleak and despondent as the situation may be… there still is hope…and there still are men out there, real men who now seem like a mirage but are in actuality the oasis in the desert.

So if you know such a man… Please don’t hesitate to tell me… because I’m looking for a real man…

BY TANYARADZWA VANADIS17 MASAIRE

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